Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Seeing Sideways Map

Wow, it seems like only yesterday I was doing my first blog for the class and now this is officially the last. I have learned a lot in the past weeks and I really do feel like I have changed for the better.

But what have I learned? How can I continue to stay sideways? Is there any system I can use to stay creative and inspired?

Well I have learned a lot about what SUCCESS means and to be honest I used to always think that success was directly linked with the amount of money you make. I came into Seeing Sideways truly believing I had not tasted success, but after talking with other students and feeling a strong connection to the seeing sideways mentality, I look back on how I got here and it really is a success. Even if I don't get the "A" I hope I do in this class it has no bearing on how much a success the class had on my mentality. I will continue to look towards the past to motivate towards the future.

FEAR is a common roadblock that has happened so many times in my life. My fear of dinosaurs and aliens might be a comical fear, but the fear of not living up to what my parents dreamed I would be is so much more deep and internal. I know now that as sad as it may be, I probably won't make the next Pixar movie and I won't be a millionaire. Coming into class I was still trying to figure out how to please my parents, since I live with them and they pay the bills, but I realized that through the fear assignment I have the ability to stand up and live my own life. I was truly inspired by my fellow classmates dig deep and tell their deepest fears, because in all honesty I was too afraid to talk about my close close relationship with my parents and those classes has allowed me to analyze my situation and I want to change. I want to be more independant, and I can't help but say thank you to everyone in class allowing me to see that I can go out and do whatever I want and its okay if it may not be what I thought it was going to be.

HAPPINESS is a word that should generally promote what is says, being happy. I see the word happiness and want to correlate that happiness to what I do while I'm at school. It's not hard to notice that I seem to be more frustrated in school than I am happy. The field of 3D modeling is not only competitive, time consuming, and expensive, it drains all the energy I have and makes me turn into a person that seems destined to always come up short. Seeing Sideways has given me new motivation to go back to 3D and really try it a new approach. I have just a year left before I graduate, and my capstone now has gone back to square one, but if you were to ask me if I was happy.....now I would say yes, because I look forward to trying to spin 3D in a new way in my life.

BULLSHIT is something I couldn't help but talk about on my blog. Why? Because saying, "THAT'S BULLSHIT!" is an awesome thing to say and to get credit for an assignment by talking about bullshit is great! Well I am a bullshiter, it's how I have survived at school for as long as I have. I would love to see a competition of bullshiters, then you could say that it's to find out who is the bullshitiest. Seeing Sideways has proven to me that Bullshit can work, but I have decided that I want to live in a life with the least amount of bullshit possible. For me, when I come up with bullshit, its because I am out of creative ideas. I will continue to analyze my life but I will try and stay clear of the bullshit!

CREATIVITY was the most talked about thing in class in my opinion. As well it should be, because creativity is why we are all (most of us) are in the new media program. We are people who can create something from something else. It's kind of cool to be associated with the word "artists" but I don't consider myself an artist. I learned that, that way of thinking will only lead to failure. I have to think I am an artist, and I can make whatever I want with the program Maya and Unreal and the more stuff that I create the better of an artist I can become. I know my limits, but its a lot higher than that of social science major or a elementary education major. That may be harsh towards that group of people, but it makes me feel better so the hell with them. I will continue to explore the world of art and find new ways of inspiring not only my abilities but my creativity.

Seeing Sideways isn't just a class......it's a way of living.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Final Project: Analysis, Execution, and Fluidity

As a single 22 year old Caucasian male living at home with no job. I find it easy to associate myself as the typical college student. I attend IUPUI mainly because I live within a close proximity to the campus as I live about 5 minutes away. When I first started college I expected the ritual of going to class, studying all day, getting 4 hours of rest and repeating the whole thing the next day. I was astounded when I went to class and found the work load to be much lighter than that of high school. The material was certainly harder and more advanced, but the actual work was less. I didn't know what I wanted to do when I came here, but knowing that technology and myself seem to go hand in hand I signed up for intro to new media and I fell in love with the idea of being ahead of the curve when it came to new ideas and creations that the informatics program supplied. I was ready to take on whatever lay in front of me, but I hit a snag. I found myself less motivated to put in real quality work because of the people around me always putting in better work (or so I felt). I would say all of this came to a boiling point my sophomore year, where I sat down with a professor and really explained the situation and told him I was finding it hard to keep myself motivated when I felt so far behind. I was able to overcome this obstacle by taking on a difficult model for a final project in class. I worked very tedious hours perfecting this 3D model and when I was done with it, I had never been more proud of myself than I was at the moment I saw my classmates faces when I showed them the finished work. All I had to do was try, which I wasn’t doing.

Seeing Sideways was always a class on my list to take before I graduated and left IUPUI. The idea of thinking outside of the box always called to me. I feel as if it is the life I was meant for because in my opinion I haven't found my calling yet. I never once felt that this class was a waste of time or boring like some people told me from previous seeing sideways classes. The main reason I never felt the need to drop the class was the fun conversations we have as a class. Our class size maybe small but it’s fantastic for our topics of debate that always seem to come up during discussions. I always feel like everyone has a chance to speak their mind and their isn't enough opportunities to do that in life to begin with, there is no way I would take that nice commodity away from myself.

I can see myself in 10 years’ time having a desk job and not doing what I went to school for and you know what, I'm okay with that. My parents have always been a big part of my life and sometimes I get in the mind set I seem to be doing all of this for them and not for myself, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy what I am learning and doing. A piece of paper and an good accolade to my name is really what my parents want, but more importantly they want to set me up for a better life when I get older. It's all a part of a process and I can see the appeal, but sometimes I do want to escape and just go into a fortress of solitude. That is why, for the future, I don't expect to be married with kids or even have a stable relationship. I don't think it suites me, people will always say, "Oh, you just haven't found the right person," but I'm okay with being self-supportive and being alone on a Friday night eating roman noodles thinking that I still have a shot with Zooey Deschanel. 

IUPUI, like all universities, has its flaws. Personally, I like IUPUI, if it wasn’t for the name IUPUI. Whenever I tell people that I study New Media, which in itself brings questions, and that I go to (inhales) Indiana University Purdue University Of Indianapolis, they also have no idea what I am talking about or they believe that it is another form of Ivy Tech or a lesser collegiate school than those of Ball State, Indiana University, Purdue University, Indiana State University, etc… Well it’s complete bullshit. IUPUI is right up there with those schools and the school shouldn’t be discredited just because of the names that are attached to us. I love the Informatics program and I love the people that teach it and I would never want to leave and abandon what I believe is the start of something beautiful. That is why, if I had my way, I would rebrand the school and change the way the city, the people, and the world view us.

Do away with the name IUPUI, it’s lengthy, its sounds like something a 5 year old could say, and it is not respected. Personally, I like the idea of just rebranding us as Indy University or better yet, have IUPUI and University of Indianapolis merge and let the school flourish with a new name and a new identity, while increasing the size of the campus and putting more money into struggling programs. When I pay money to go to school I want to be just as respected like those who went to Indiana University in Bloomington or Purdue University in West Lafayette. I understand the benefit of being under the wing of prestigious schools such as those, but it’s time for the school to make a true name of itself and take a step toward being the best University in the state and if I were head of IUPUI that would be my goal.

I would implement various new structures in particularly the New Media program. The process and structure of this change would be analysis, execution, and fluidity. First I would take 6 months and have an overall review process in every area of the program. From the classes themselves to the advisors who point you in the right direction. When the analysis process is finished, any new change to the program will be required to last for at least 8 years, so the student body can get used to it and it will avoid shifting criteria for students that are used to the old structure. As the program now in place will most likely be in place when this process starts, all students currently following that program will be grandfathered in and they will follow the old process until they graduate. This allows for every student to fully grasp the process and no confusion will be had and the typical questions “Where am I, in terms of graduating?” will be gone.

The program would really start to flourish as the students know what they have to do and the stress of figuring out classes for next term or how long you have left to graduate will be eased tremendously. The final step in the process (fluidity) is the most important. To achieve fluidity the administrators, the staff, and the student body all must communicate effectively and that is where the organization of the AEF comes in. I would implement a place where Students can go to talk with somebody about any problems or situations they may have and I would require someone of power or prestige to be there Monday-Friday 12-5. Students can feel that their voices are being heard and they know that University cares about their issues.

In my life I use analysis, execution, and fluidity for every aspect of my day to day preceding’s. It can apply to anything such as: social life, finances, relationships, school, work, etc… If people spent more time analyzing their problems or issues instead of trying to make quick fixes or working on the fly, then we would be way more productive in this world. I took something I do every day to keep stability in my life and I applied it to IUPUI. It isn’t that difficult to solve problems if you analyze them first. I have enjoyed Seeing Sideways to the nth degree because it has opened my eyes on applying things I do in life to my career or my creativity. I will give the thanks by staying sideways in life.  

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Fear Presentation and Refelection

In class on Monday, June 4th, I explained my fear of dinosaurs and forced myself to watch three YouTube videos my father had found without my knowledge. I hadn't seen these videos prior to the presentation, so I was a little on edge.

My classmates first reaction to this was bemusement and confusion. I could definitely see some of the people around the room looked as if I had just said the most craziest thing a human being had ever said. I expected it, and to be honest it doesn't bother me that people can't fathom a fear of dinosaurs. I will say that there were a few who could relate by having a similar crazy fear that no one had ever heard of and it certainly made me more comfortable to talk to the room about dinosaurs.

As I was watching the YouTube videos, I wish I would have double checked to make sure the sound was working. Watching them without sound definitely didn't make them as scary. When I was sitting at my desk clutching my hands together and sweating as I was watching a T-Rex walk around an arena, I noticed how everyone wasn't as focused on the videos as I was, but they were focused on me and my reaction. It's a natural thing to do when someone tells you they are frightened of something no one can believe. They want to see first hand how scared you are of it and what you do to cope with that fear.

Looking back, I would have liked the videos to be even scarier to really show how frightened I get if the situation is right. Sound was definitely a hindrance because in the end the scariest sound I have ever heard was a T-Rex roar right into my face (Disney World). That sound can trigger memories of horror, so I wish my father would have found a YouTube video of just dinosaur roars, but I did like the idea of not knowing what was coming.

I was surprised that none of my classmates were afraid of something similar to dinosaurs or dinosaurs themselves. It didn't matter to my presentation that no one was as petrified as I was, but the comfort knowing that you aren't the only one certainly would have put my mind at ease. In the end, I was glad people know the dangers of showing dinosaurs around me. I tense up, I bite my fists, I look away, I squirm in my seat, but most importantly I see the power that has come before on this land, and fear for the power that might be next for us.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Fear Class

Everyone's presentation were great today, and I liked that they were all different in their own way. The first Fear measure/Religious measure was very insightful and proves that a lot of things that seem to be indescribable can actually be documented, studied, and analyzed.

Fear of a child dying was a very powerful presentation. I really felt as each item hit the ground that I was feeling the exact emotion the speaker was feeling. Especially when he threw the axe down and mention the words rape and kidnapped that really made my heart tug.

The chat on fear of anxiety in general stemming from something as simple as a gas gauge on a car being on empty allowed me to realize that even a simple everyday occurrence can cause a hindrance in peoples lives. I can greatly sympathize with fears like that because I face them daily. I have so many things that bother me, one could say its ridiculousness. I have a lot of superstitions that I have to deal with on a daily basis like having to knock on wood whenever I say something that I might regret at a later date. I can never step on cracks in the pavement in fear I might cause myself great harm.

The song was also very good and almost soothing to the soul. Even though I didn't quite understand the meaning behind it, I did appreciate the effort behind sitting down and writing both a song with chords and lyrics.

The last presentation was exciting and mysterious, which I am not quite sure how to explain how I feel about it not truly knowing what it is. I look forward to hearing the explanation on Wednesday.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Fear Factor

Roar! You will be confused! You might even be scared along with me, but not many will understand what this does to me, what they do.........to me.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Sweet Sweet Bliss

If I could do one thing in this world, or I guess the one thing I want to have the ability of being able to do, is being able to just pause humanity. Now that might sound extremely confusing and down right weird, but it's fairly simple. I want the ability to be able to take all of the people, the animals, and the insects, and take them off the planet and put them in a state of non existence for a while. I love traveling, and I love doing things alone. I am not afraid to admit that I work better and enjoy myself more if I am alone.

Now that's not to say I don't mind company and hanging out with friends, because I do, but if I had the ability to pause moments in life for however long I wanted would be my most deepest desire. I would visit the wold in my own way. I could go up to the top of the Eiffel Tower and have breakfast one morning, or I could work out in my favorite team's stadium by myself, I could steal tons of money for myself and use it when I un-pause time. I would live two completely different lives and truly feel that I could do whatever I wanted.

I could spend my time working and moaning about gas prices like everybody else, but for my other life, my past time, I could literally have a vacation that would never end. To be able to travel to far distant places without having to hear babies crying, people fighting, bad drives, etc... truly is everlasting bliss!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Imagining Just That!

There are many out there who might suggest that to think like a child is immature and a complete waste of time. I, on the other hand, always look back to the past to explain the present. For example, I sit on my bed as I am typing this and I am looking down at the carpet. I am 8 years old and I envision that my carpet is the ocean and that my entire room is floating in the midst of the cool sea breeze. As I lie down, I can close my eyes and feel the bed going up and down as the waves seem truly there.

Whenever I had to get up to get out of my room I would do odd things to avoid touching the water (carpet). If there were dirty clothes on my floor I'd consider that a raft and be able to jump on it to safety as I reached closer towards the door. Knowing my next jump would declare me either safe....or dead in the water. I would hang on my door and swing to the entrance of my room and falling on the other side of the carpet. However, ironic as it may sound the other side of the carpet was carpet, but it wasn't MY carpet, therefore it wasn't the ocean. Right?

Regardless, Sometimes I still play that don't touch the floor or you'll drown, some of my friends play a similar game and call it hot lava. I feel its good to find enjoyment out of the simple things in life. If I can play a game just by jumping on dirty clothes or whatever other objects to avoid hitting the ground, well then I will damn well do it!