Fear Presentation and Refelection

In class on Monday, June 4th, I explained my fear of dinosaurs and forced myself to watch three YouTube videos my father had found without my knowledge. I hadn't seen these videos prior to the presentation, so I was a little on edge.

My classmates first reaction to this was bemusement and confusion. I could definitely see some of the people around the room looked as if I had just said the most craziest thing a human being had ever said. I expected it, and to be honest it doesn't bother me that people can't fathom a fear of dinosaurs. I will say that there were a few who could relate by having a similar crazy fear that no one had ever heard of and it certainly made me more comfortable to talk to the room about dinosaurs.

As I was watching the YouTube videos, I wish I would have double checked to make sure the sound was working. Watching them without sound definitely didn't make them as scary. When I was sitting at my desk clutching my hands together and sweating as I was watching a T-Rex walk around an arena, I noticed how everyone wasn't as focused on the videos as I was, but they were focused on me and my reaction. It's a natural thing to do when someone tells you they are frightened of something no one can believe. They want to see first hand how scared you are of it and what you do to cope with that fear.

Looking back, I would have liked the videos to be even scarier to really show how frightened I get if the situation is right. Sound was definitely a hindrance because in the end the scariest sound I have ever heard was a T-Rex roar right into my face (Disney World). That sound can trigger memories of horror, so I wish my father would have found a YouTube video of just dinosaur roars, but I did like the idea of not knowing what was coming.

I was surprised that none of my classmates were afraid of something similar to dinosaurs or dinosaurs themselves. It didn't matter to my presentation that no one was as petrified as I was, but the comfort knowing that you aren't the only one certainly would have put my mind at ease. In the end, I was glad people know the dangers of showing dinosaurs around me. I tense up, I bite my fists, I look away, I squirm in my seat, but most importantly I see the power that has come before on this land, and fear for the power that might be next for us.